A Time to RE-FIND self

All Saints Day

2010-11-01T16:46:00.001-05:00

"I am struck by how I cling to my own wounded self. Why do I think so much about the people who have offended or hurt me? Why do I allow them to have so much power over my feelings and emotions? Why can't I simply be grateful for the good they did and forget about their failures and mistakes?"

--Henri J.M. Nouwen

and so we begin again ...

2010-10-26T21:05:00.004-05:00

the thought for a stormy Fall night --

"Can I just close my eyes, and be still for a moment? set aside the daily clutter, and find the silence ?"

How do we allow silence to happen? How can I take the risk to allow silence to envelop me? Am I ready? Do I need it? The truthful answer is YES so that I can be true to me and the CALL of the LIGHT.

Support me on this renewed quest -- hold my hand and guide me -- I know I cannot run for you are always there.

We are not alone

2010-03-17T20:05:00.002-05:00

I like this!

A New Creed

We are not alone,
we live in God's world.

We believe in God:
who has created and is creating,
who has come in Jesus,
the Word made flesh,
to reconcile and make new,
who works in us and others
by the Spirit.

We trust in God.

We are called to be the Church:
to celebrate God's presence,
to live with respect in Creation,
to love and serve others,
to seek justice and resist evil,
to proclaim Jesus, crucified and risen,
our judge and our hope.

In life, in death, in life beyond death,
God is with us.
We are not alone.

Thanks be to God.

The First Sunday of Lent -- Illumination

2010-02-21T19:52:00.006-06:00

My Lenten project for my own spiritual growth is get more regularly post on my blog. It has been rewarding that friends have missed my entries. Despite what the church might say lent begins with the first Sunday of lent for me --- so a new beginning of blogging.

I have always struggled with the phrase "remember you are dust and to dust you shall return." This week I have thought about it over and over. For me we should say "Remember you are light and to Light you should return!" Are me not born of the ETERNAL light, are we not guided by this light, are we not encouraged and refreshed by this light -- YES! Then the purpose of our lives is to grow into the illumination of the ETERNAL. I do not see lent as a time to give things up but rather it is a time to do more -- a time to stretch ourselves to do more in our spiritual growth. A time to increase our spiritual exercises to come to know the DIVINE more intimately. Lent is an excellent time to focus on the CALL to come glow in ME, come be illumined in ME! I am making this lent a movement towards the LIGHT that brings clarity to all I do. I have decided to read a book that a close friend wrote and gave me as a gift. She has been a light to me in many ways and her writing and reflections always make the dark clear. I am also going to look at the writings of the Dahlia Lama on finding happiness. I feel that these enterprises will assist me in moving towards the LIGHT that shone on Easter.

Being illuminated by the DIVINE is like a two edge sword -- it brings anxiety and peace. Anxiety in that it makes us look at those aspects of our lives that keep us from full union. It illumines the aspects of our inner dark nights that we often try to avoid. Yet, the joy is when we use the glow of the DIVINE as the power to turn coal into a diamonds. As new diamonds we can reflect the LIGHT to others and bring light to their struggles. The warmth of divine LIGHT warms us like no other element can. The warmth and peace are beyond words, and trying to express it can often destroy the moment. So I choose to dwell in it and feel the warmth of a Father's love.

Ah, but to move into the life takes constant effort and personal risk taking. The CALL is always there but we have to suspend our need to be in control, need to let go of the rope and fall into the presence of the LIGHT. We can only become illumined by HIM when we totally surrender our need to be the one in control. I say "into" because surrender means to become one with HIM. Much easier said then done, especially for someone like me that likes to have everything worked out and know the outcome before the event even happens. So this lent is my time to surrender and fall. It is my time to not to have to have everything perfected -- but rather to work towards perfection given by the LIGHT. I will be honest I am afraid, it will not be easy but I full realize it is time for me to surrender myself to the DIVINE. Surrender not my way, but surrender HIS way. With this surrender comes mercy, repentance and love. There is the total renewal of all we are and can be. The path that we walk into the LIGHT, changes us each moment and forever.

I invite you to take up the challenge to remember you are light and to LIGHT you shall return. May this become your prayer each day of this sacred season. Please share your thoughts and comments during lent on the comment section of my blog so we can truly grow together into the Light

Transitions

2010-01-23T10:45:00.007-06:00

transitions come into our lives
through the windows and door of our soul.
some come dancing and singing,
while others sneak in very quietly.

transition have a voice,
sometimes we hear them freely,
other times we choose to ignore them
and lock them away in the darkness.

transitions can be colorful
and ever so inviting, like a new rainbow.
some are gray and cold
and we look at them and turn away.

transitions whether good or bad.
bright, colorful or dark
are gifts and a calling
which we cannot ignore.

several transitions have moved within
they now occupy spaces of my soul.
I have accepted some and dined with them
while others are collecting dust.

what am I to do? I know not!
i am filled with joy and fear.
oh soul, you have never been good
at moving on, changing your routine.

weeks have come and gone,
and oh so soon months.
yet my soul and I have closed
those passages to the dark ones.

transitions they do not leave
they move right in and stay.
they gain their strength and power
when we ignore them do.

the time is now, I must be true
and look and listen to each one.
they bring a grace I really need
but am afraid to accept, me thinks.

transition are God's gift and call
they edge us towards the LIGHT.
Bright or dark, they have within themselves
a treasure so unexpected.

oh soul, be thou not afraid
you do not have to open them all today
mark your time, but be true indeed
to start to face their call.

transitions hold a treasure,
a wealth that drives us on.
they are a strength to grow and change,
to move unto the DIVINE.

oh, soul accept them unconditionally
your fear must fly away.
The LIGHT has entered in you
now glow with HIS warmth and love.

transitions are HIS GIFT and CALL
unexpected but with a purpose.
they have the message within themselves
to be all that we can be.

Transitions

2010-01-21T13:50:00.005-06:00

Hi Blog -- How are you? I have missed writing in you. I must admit that I really do not know where the past two weeks have gone. The new job is very good and challenging. I already have several major projects in the fire. The creative challenge is fun and excellen; they have streached me in many regards. But like with any new job I am still trying to organize my office, my files and systems so that everything is formatted in a easy way for me to find it. There are so many players that have to sign off on things that sometime you are running around via email track=king down the approvals that you need. Ah, but it is all an excellent lesson in organization.

As I have said before, my drive is about an hour each way. I wish I had some way to dictate my thoughts that I want to enter here but a last no such luck.I have ideas running through my head. The ride home is a good time to process the days events. When I get home I am pretty worn out and do not want to sit down at my computer. I also want to get some good relaxing and meditative music to play in the car.

Also, I am saddened as my best friend that I have know for over 10 years and lives in my same complex is moving away. OK, only 20 miles but when you have seen someone almost everyday, and do things together and have great philosophical and reflective talks it is all sad. It is very hard for me to make the transition. I have not wanted to go to his place as he is packing and moving stuff out. Yes he will be around yet not so around. The closeness of being in the same building and our usual talks and dinners will be missed. He has been a great help to me during recent years of great suffering and transition.

I found this poem and I loved it -- great ideas that strengthens us everyday...

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

There are two days in every week that we should not worry about, two days that should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed, forever beyond our control.

All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed. Nor can we erase a single word we've said - yesterday is gone!

The other day we shouldn't worry about is tomorrow, with its impossible adversaries, its burden, its hopeful promise and poor performance. Tomorrow is beyond our control.

Tomorrow's sun will rise either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds - but it will rise. And until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is yet unborn.

This leaves only one day - today. Any person can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when we add the burdens of yesterday and tomorrow that we break down.

It is not the experience of today that drives people mad - it is the remorse of bitterness for something which happened yesterday, and the dread of what tomorrow may bring.

Let us, therefore, live one day at a time!

Author Unknown

A Friday afternoon

2010-01-15T15:15:00.004-06:00

I needed this after a very busy week, on a cloudy Friday afternoon....This has been a week filled with new tasks at work, life giving and life exhausting experiences, so this poem came at the right time mid-afternoon.

Energy of Happiness

Free-flowing energy
running through us as a river
from a hidden source
Finding outlets
in positive thoughts, actions
Energy continuing on
in those whose lives we touch
Multiplying
person to person
Inundating
Transforming our world ever
for the better
Energy of happiness
awakened in us
from the well-spring of unseen roots
lying just beneath everyday consciousness
Energy of happiness
brought to awareness
by claiming a positive attitude
Choosing to pull the good out of defeat
Choosing to multiply the good of success
Energy of happiness
aroused by free will to again turn
toward the sun of illumination
chasing away clouds of selfishness
Energy of happiness
ever available
by choices for the higher good
Ever sufficient to infuse our lives
with bliss and joy

by: Susan Kramer, M.A., M.Div.

For those that are lost and suffering.

2010-01-14T23:08:00.003-06:00

Say a prayer every hour for the victims of the earthquake -- light a candle and keep one burning until all survivors have been recovered -- make an actual commitment to tangibly help the victims.

Pray this prayer every hour...

Merciful Lord,

In the aftermath of the earthquake in Haiti, we come to You for help on behalf of all the devastated victims and those waiting to be found. Comfort families grieving the loss of loved ones and calm the anxious hearts of those still waiting to hear from relatives and friends. May the injured feel Your healing and soothing touch at this time. May those laying alone and still unfound in the rubble feel you hand reaching out to them.

Lord, guide the hands of all those searching for the lost and dead. Give them energy and strength in this lonesome task. Renew their energy. Open there eyes to see what they might not see and to hear the weakest whimper for help. Walk with them and guide them. Be their LIGHT in the darkness.

Lord, help those facing the task of rebuilding their lives to find the fortitude and courage to move forward. Replace discouragement with hope for the future. Guide recovery teams as they work to restore power, water and communications in the disaster areas and shorten this time of restoration. Believing that You are willing and able to do all things, we ask in Jesus Name. Amen.

2010-01-10T15:16:00.003-06:00

Today we liturgically celebrate the Baptism of Jesus. Most of us were baptized as infants and had no say in the process. Take today as a time to reaffirm your commitment to the LIGHT.

Spend time sitting in silence and ask yourself
-- how have you lived, -- how are you living, -- how will you live your commitment to grow in the SPIRIT OF THE LIGHT.

In this reflection allow yourself to be cleansed entirely, wash away all that keeps your from the freedom and strength HE gives and continue to be cleansed each day and each moment. Wash yourself daily in his LIGHT, and in the water of HIS salvation.

I offer the below as a means of meditation and reflection.

The Feast of The Baptism of the Lord -- Sermon by St. Gregory Nazianzen - Early Church Father

Christ is bathed in light; let us also be bathed in light. Christ is baptized; let us also go down with him, and rise with him.

John is baptizing when Jesus draws near. Perhaps he comes to sanctify his baptiser; certainly he comes to bury sinful humanity in the waters. He comes to sanctify the Jordan for our sake and in readiness for us; he who is spirit and flesh comes to begin a new creation through the Spirit and water.

The Baptist protests; Jesus insists. Then John says: I ought to be baptised by you. He is the lamp in the presence of the sun, the voice in the presence of the Word, the friend in the presence of the Bridegroom, the greatest of all born of woman in the presence of the firstborn of all creation, the one who leapt in his mother’s womb in the presence of him who was adored in the womb, the forerunner and future forerunner in the presence of him who has already come and is to come again. I ought to be baptized by you: we should also add, “and for you”, for John is to be baptized in blood, washed clean like Peter, not only by the washing of his feet.

Jesus rises from the waters; the world rises with him. The heavens like Paradise with its flaming sword, closed by Adam for himself and his descendants, are rent open. The Spirit comes to him as to an equal, bearing witness to his Godhead. A voice bears witness to him from heaven, his place of origin. The Spirit descends in bodily form like the dove that so long ago announced the ending of the flood and so gives honor to the body that is one with God.

Today let us do honor to Christ’s baptism and celebrate this feast in holiness. Be cleansed entirely and continue to be cleansed. Nothing gives such pleasure to God as the conversion and salvation of men, for whom his every word and every revelation exist. He wants you to become a living force for all mankind, lights shining in the world. You are to be radiant lights as you stand beside Christ, the great light, bathed in the glory of him who is the light of heaven. You are to enjoy more and more the pure and dazzling light of the Trinity, as now you have received - though not in its fullness - a ray of its splendor, proceeding from the one God, in Christ Jesus our Lord, to whom be glory and power for ever and ever. Amen.

The novelty of God

2010-01-08T11:37:00.008-06:00

This was from Benedict XVI on Epiphany -- I like some of the ideas and challenges:

"We can, then, ask ourselves", said the Holy Father, "why is it that some seek and find, while others do not? What is it that opens their eyes and hearts? What is lacking in those who remain indifferent, in those who show the way but do not move themselves? And we may answer that too much self-confidence, the belief they possess a perfect knowledge of reality, and the presumption of having already formulated a definitive judgement about things makes their hearts closed and insensitive to the novelty of God. They are sure of the idea they have of the world and do not allow themselves to be intimately moved by the adventure of a God Who wants to meet them. They place their trust more in themselves than in Him, and do not believe it possible that God is so great that He can become small, that he can truly draw close to us.

"In the end", he added, "what they lack is the authentic humility capable of submitting itself to that which is greater, but also the authentic courage which brings us to believe in that which is truly great, even if it shows itself in a defenceless Child. What they lack is the evangelical capacity to become children at heart, to be amazed and to abandon the self so as to start down the path indicated by the star, the path of God. Yet the Lord", the Pope concluded, "has the power to make us see and to save ourselves".

Points I felt were good for further reflection:

*things makes their hearts closed and insensitive to the novelty of God. -- I love the idea of the novelty of God. I sometimes forget that there is a newness and freshness each time I allow myself to truly confront GOD. The message of insensitivity was significant as I sometime feel that I am so caught in my own world that I do not hear GOD's voice, as HE stands right next to my ear. I have a hardened heart so often, even though I think I am so open to the DIVINE. I want ti my way or no way. Open my heart oh LORD.

*not allow themselves to be intimately moved by the adventure of a God Who wants to meet them. -- How wonderful it would be to constantly have the intimate movement of the DIVINE withing myself. GOD wants to meet me, what a beautiful invitation. I am always caught in the seeking GOD that I never thought of the fact that HE wants to meet me. Meet me in the nakedness of my existence which HE created.

*lack the evangelical capacity to become children at heart. -- The Evangelical capacitor reinforced for me that we are not on the journey alone. We are literally called to share and bring the glow of the DIVINE within ourselves to others. It is not an option it is a CALL. Think of the gift and strength we can be to one another.

*to start down the path indicated by the star. -- This made me think that the star is not just a call we have at Christmas. It is a call and a guide that we have at all times. There is a need for me to look up more to see this invitation and the gifts that come through following HIS star.

The Day of Gifts

2010-01-06T10:07:00.003-06:00

Today -- January 6th we celebrate the Feast of the Three Kings. As a thought for today I suggest that we each ask ourselves in total honesty and nakedness the questions below. I offer them as a point of meditation for today. Maybe only choose one of them or use them all throughout the day:

-What is the most significant gift you have received from the DIVINE and how do you cherish it, protect it and use it for the good of others?

-What is the greatest gift you have received from another -- have you made it known to them how much you appreciate it and cherish the gift -- do you hose it within a special room of your heat? Do you need to revisit it and remember its significance?

-What is the most difficult personal gift for you to share and how can you begin today to share that gift, giving it in an unconditional manner to others? What steps will you take to give this gift more freely?

-When did you last reach out to someone and tell them the GIFT that they are in your life? Do it today and without hast.

The poem below I found to be a nice reflection on the ancient tradition of gifts:

The Three Kings a Christmas poem by Longfellow

Three Kings came riding from far away,
Melchior and Gaspar and Baltasar;
Three Wise Men out of the East were they,
And they travelled by night and they slept by day,
For their guide was a beautiful, wonderful star.

The star was so beautiful, large and clear,
That all the other stars of the sky
Became a white mist in the atmosphere,
And by this they knew that the coming was near
Of the Prince foretold in the prophecy.

Three caskets they bore on their saddle-bows,
Three caskets of gold with golden keys;
Their robes were of crimson silk with rows
Of bells and pomegranates and furbelows,
Their turbans like blossoming almond-trees.

And so the Three Kings rode into the West,
Through the dusk of the night, over hill and dell,
And sometimes they nodded with beard on breast,
And sometimes talked, as they paused to rest,
With the people they met at some wayside well.

"Of the child that is born," said Baltasar,
"Good people, I pray you, tell us the news;
For we in the East have seen his star,
And have ridden fast, and have ridden far,
To find and worship the King of the Jews."

And the people answered, "You ask in vain;
We know of no King but Herod the Great!"
They thought the Wise Men were men insane,
As they spurred their horses across the plain,
Like riders in haste, who cannot wait.

And when they came to Jerusalem,
Herod the Great, who had heard this thing,
Sent for the Wise Men and questioned them;
And said, "Go down unto Bethlehem,
And bring me tidings of this new king."

So they rode away; and the star stood still,
The only one in the grey of morn;
Yes, it stopped --it stood still of its own free will,
Right over Bethlehem on the hill,
The city of David, where Christ was born.

And the Three Kings rode through the gate and the guard,
Through the silent street, till their horses turned
And neighed as they entered the great inn-yard;
But the windows were closed, and the doors were barred,
And only a light in the stable burned.

And cradled there in the scented hay,
In the air made sweet by the breath of kine,
The little child in the manger lay,
The child, that would be king one day
Of a kingdom not human, but divine.

His mother Mary of Nazareth
Sat watching beside his place of rest,
Watching the even flow of his breath,
For the joy of life and the terror of death
Were mingled together in her breast.

They laid their offerings at his feet:
The gold was their tribute to a King,
The frankincense, with its odor sweet,
Was for the Priest, the Paraclete,
The myrrh for the body's burying.

And the mother wondered and bowed her head,
And sat as still as a statue of stone,
Her heart was troubled yet comforted,
Remembering what the Angel had said
Of an endless reign and of David's throne.

Then the Kings rode out of the city gate,
With a clatter of hoofs in proud array;
But they went not back to Herod the Great,
For they knew his malice and feared his hate,
And returned to their homes by another way.

Letting go... can you? will you?

2010-01-05T12:20:00.004-06:00

for what do you long and yearn?
why oh soul do you feel so scattered?
where has your focus run?
why does restlessness overpower you?

oh soul these last few days
you seem to need new food,
you are hungry and I cannot feed you
who will fill your void

you ache inside for that which is missing
oh soul you are reaching but not grasping.
your hunger is a fierce fire within
what comfort do you need.

you come so close and yet you run
what is the love that your need?
you need to be fed a food of LIGHT
you need the LOVE that is HIS.

give up your control, give up your fear
fall back and allow HIM to catch you.
remember HE will not let you fall
just lean back and feel HIS warmth.

it is time oh soul, you have no choice
you will not survive it you have no YES.
beyond the now is the ETERNAL key
your PEACE will dwell within forever.

oh soul how can you continue this way?
your inner fire need to be rekindled.
reach and He is there, enlightening you
strip away the fear - HE IS YOUR LIGHT.

The rooms of our lives...

2010-01-01T21:17:00.004-06:00

As we move into 2010 choose goals for yourself that are most important to your own happiness, the happiness of those that you love, and your future life. Whatever dreams you strive for now will be almost magically protected, so go for the best life has to offer.

I have really never been one for New Year's resolutions. It is just a list that never materializes. I thought that we should make RE-AFFIRMATIONS at New Year. Then this quote really spoke to me.

We spend January 1 walking through our lives, room by room, drawing up a list of work to be done, cracks to be patched. Maybe this year, to balance the list, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives... not looking for flaws, but for potential.
Ellen Goodman

I loved the idea of walking through the rooms of our lives. I think far to often we only go to those that are familiar, warm and nice. Yet as 2010 starts, I realize I need to go into those dark, cold and dusty rooms. I understand that there are treasures there that have been shelved and forgotten and need to be brought into the LIGHT. For at certain times I wanted to hide them, was afraid of their challenge but the newness of the Christmas LIGHT allows me to see them so differently. The reexamining of them can bring opportunity. It is strange how we run from things that might nudge us in a direction we do not want to go -- ah, but do we ever stop to think that it is the DIVINE that is pushing us? I realize there are many things I need to clean and polish in 2010 that have been shelved in those unvisited rooms within my soul. The first day and every day of 2010 can be such an opportunity to walk each room -- the familiar and unfamiliar. As I walk each room I have the NEW LIGHT to guide me. The key is that I remember to bring HIM along and not leave HIM at the door, as I often seem to do. How beautiful is the adventure to walk the rooms of our lives with the ETERNAL ONE and to share our treasures. I imagine HIM there picking up objects that I have not looked at -- holding them as sacred gifts and looking into my eyes and saying -- "WHY NOT?" Ah, to have such a companion on the travels of our lives.

The idea of potential was very stimulating to me -- what potentials are there hidden in the fabric of each room. What newness can I bring to my life as well as to the lives of others? As G.K. Chesterton says, "The object of a New Year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul and a new nose; new feet, a new backbone, new ears, and new eyes."

An so some potentials for 2010 ... from my walking through my rooms

-share my thoughts more in writing
-publish my ideas for others
-learn to play one of the several musical instruments I have
-mediate
-tell people I love them
-walk in trust and not in fear
-be more of a doer than a thinker
-each day walk through my rooms
-seek a spiritual companion
-read more and not just think about it
-exercise
-live more for me and not others
-break my fears and meet new people
-look at this list an honestly ask -- "ARE YOU?"

Each day we are called to let HIS light ILLUMINE us -- each day the DIVINE LOVE is longing for us to accept her invitation. "Come walk with me, show me your house and be not afraid for I am your CONSTANT, I am your LOVER, I am your GUIDE, I am your LIGHT."

On a more personal note...

2009-12-30T10:31:00.004-06:00

The past few days have been very busy as I continue to adjust to being back to work. My body has not quite realized that the 5:30 alarm means -- get up. Also, by the time at get home in the evening about 6:30 I am tired and not in the mood to sit at a computer after doing that all day. I need some chill time! I miss my blog time and I need to make that a new focus of my changed day. It is something I need to grow and it has become a grace for me as well. While I am still in an orientation mode at work I love the job and feel fortunate to be in the right place at this time of my life. God leads us where He desires to use us.

I have also been frustrated with myself the last few days. I have tried to process an event and put closure on it, but that has not happened. I had gone shopping with my son Alex after Christmas and I had in my mind I wanted to get my ex-wife a new coat. I had already given her a Christmas gift but seeing her in my old puff coat sparked something in me. She certainly could have bought one for herself, but... I liked the idea of gifting and surprise. I had looked at several stores and finally at Kohl's I found a wool charcoal gray Pea coat in her size. So I bought it and asked Alex to wrap and tell her Santa left it at my house for her. I was so excited for her to have it. Ergo the bomb falls. I heard nothing from her about it -- not a word! I know, I did not buy it to get a thank you but I thought that she would say something. WRONG. I even asked my kids and they had no information of her like or dislike. To say the least it spurred up a whole set of emotions and issues of manipulation again. I just want to let it go and move on but obviously I cannot. I get so frustrated by these chains that bind me after 7 years. WHY? I am frustrated with myself. Why do I still let these situations control me? It all falls back to my need for approval I guess. Lord give me strength. Any suggestions of how to let go would be much appreciated from my readers!

So, as I reflect on 2009 there are certain items in my emotional bag that need to be cleaned out.

I found this prayer as I am working on this entry and it is very helpful.

Letting Go

Dear Jesus,
Please hear my prayer. I go along each day, trying to run my life my own way. I forget to let go and give you control.

I wonder why things aren't going the way I want them to go. I forget to stop and ask what you want, Lord. Please help me to give you control, Jesus. I want to follow you. I want what you desire for me.

Help me to realize that when you close one door, you open the one you want me to walk through. Help me also to realize that what I desire may not be what is meant for me, or what is best for me. Maybe it will lead me away from what your great plan is for me.

Lord, let me accept each day as a gift. Let me follow the path you choose for me. Help me to be thankful for what you give me and not to worry about my needs. I trust you will take care of all my needs. Remind me that my role is to care for those around me and focus on those who need my help.

Help me not to be judgmental, as we are all equal in God's eyes. Help me to see the good in all of your creations. Let me leave the judging to you, dear Jesus. Instead, I will concentrate on living to please you!

Help me, dear Jesus, be who and what you want me to be. Give me strength, faith and hope, and most of all, give me guidance each and every day. I let go and give you control.

In Jesus name,

Amen.

As 2010 approaches...

2009-12-30T04:55:00.002-06:00

A great poem on what the new year can bring --

In Memoriam, [Ring out, wild bells]
by Lord Alfred Tennyson

Ring out, wild bells, to the wild sky,
The flying cloud, the frosty light:
The year is dying in the night;
Ring out, wild bells, and let him die.

Ring out the old, ring in the new,
Ring, happy bells, across the snow:
The year is going, let him go;
Ring out the false, ring in the true.

Ring out the grief that saps the mind
For those that here we see no more;
Ring out the feud of rich and poor,
Ring in redress to all mankind.

Ring out a slowly dying cause,
And ancient forms of party strife;
Ring in the nobler modes of life,
With sweeter manners, purer laws.

Ring out the want, the care, the sin,
The faithless coldness of the times;
Ring out, ring out my mournful rhymes
But ring the fuller minstrel in.

Ring out false pride in place and blood,
The civic slander and the spite;
Ring in the love of truth and right,
Ring in the common love of good.

Ring out old shapes of foul disease;
Ring out the narrowing lust of gold;
Ring out the thousand wars of old,
Ring in the thousand years of peace.

Ring in the valiant man and free,
The larger heart, the kindlier hand;
Ring out the darkness of the land,
Ring in the Christ that is to be.

Snow -- A Gift not a Burden

2009-12-26T21:57:00.004-06:00

I cursed the snow today -- it kept falling and falling. The roads were bad, parking lots were a mess as I took my youngest son shopping. It was a total nuisance to me and I hate driving in it. I swear people get crazy in it. I saw friends cleaning their driveway as a total family and I thought that is being productive. It was not until i pulled into my parking lot that I saw the real beauty of the snow. As I got out of the car I kicked it up -- I was moved by the beauty of its lightness in the lights. Then I thought how nice it would be to be as light as this snow - no burdens, no problem. To have the ability to float in today freedom, ah to fly. Then I thought of the white and pure color, free of prejudice. During this holy season to be as pure to be able to accept the KING within. I thought of the beauty of the snow able to reflect the lights, to illumine the night. I would love to be a light to others and illumine their fears and darkness. So after a day of panic, anger and hating the snow, in the silence of my parking lot i was able to cherish it as a special gift. I had fun kicking it as I toted my bags home. I laughed at how much I had missed today. The snow bring a freshness and newness to the earth.

I like this poem -- so I share it with you:

Snow
by: Mary T. Lathrap (1838-1895)

Soft as the fall of a beautiful thought,
Or a leaf on the stream,
White as the robe by purity wrought,
Bright as the flow of a dream.
Calm as a sleeping infant's breath,
Cold as the brow just touched by death,
Falleth in many a graceful wreath
Gently, the beautiful snow.

Caught like a robe on the leafless trees,
With diamonds in every fold;
Stepping like sprites where the fallen leaves
Mingle their brown and gold.
Covering over the graves of the flowers,
And those other graves where gems of ours
We laid away in summer hours,
Now resteth the gentle snow.

Falling to gladden the hearts of some,
With the joys it has in store;
Falling to chill, in the hovel home,
The souls of the suffering poor.
Melting to pearls on the brow of the glad,
Melting to tears on the cheek of the sad,
What gladdens the one, drives the other mad,
Oh! coldly beautiful snow.

Bright as the clouds where the sun goes down,
Is thy fall to the happy heart;
Cold as the world with its bitter frown,
To the child of woe thou art.
But if thy coming shall cheer or chill,
One hand yet gathers the winds at will,
And the eye of the Sleepless is watching still,
In pity, O, pitiless snow!

Circles of Light

2009-12-26T04:51:00.004-06:00

It is my hope and prayer that all had a blessed and wonderful Christmas Day. Remember the season really lasts until Jan 6th. We need to stretch out the true meaning of the season and not the commercial "after Christmas sale season."

Blessings have been in abundance the last few days. I was most surprised when on Christmas Eve my ex-wife called and invited me to go to church and dinner with them. This has never happened -- it has always been her time with the kids. I was most touched and surprised. The Mass was at the hospital where she works -- it was a most interesting and engaging liturgy. No big MGM musical, but the priest said Mass like he was having a conversation with you -- definitely not your reciting of common liturgical words. A wonderful fireside chat about the significance of the LIGHT. We then went out for a most fabulous dinner. Was a nice way to spend Christmas Eve instead of my stay at home lonely mode.

My place was decorated for the season, I tired some new things this year. Christmas Day my kids come over for presents and dinner. It was great fun. The most significant for me was my son Nick's reaction to the two new ice fishing poles I gave him. I have not seen such joy and excitement since he was little. He has taken up ice fishing with a friend -- they had built an ice-house to take to northern Wisconsin. So I decided this would be a perfect set of gifts -- all the needs of ice fishing, clothes, hand warmers, and fishing gear. My son Richie was most impressed by his mala beads and singing prayer bowl. You see he is very much into Buddhism and eastern religions. It is there he has found peace of mind. Alex was elated with his vest and fedoras -- just don't ask. Sara loved the piggy bank filled with money and the added items for her Christmas dishes and dinner set. Sara gave me my traditional Santa. Every year since I moved out she has given me one. They are those 18 inches Santa figures. She takes great pride in picking just the right one for the year. As I look at them I feel her love. They have their special place in my decorating. It was a wonderful time and now we do not just grab and unwrap, each person opens a gift so we can see what they get. I had such fun this year finding fun and different things. Dinner followed and my cooking was appreciated. Alex even did the dishes.

Everyone left mid afternoon and I was alone looking at the lights. I admit I was feeling alone. Yet, I sat and thought about what "lights" had I seen this year. I asked if I has opened my eyes to the LIGHT that reached down and touched the earth on this holy day. I realized i need to spend this season focusing more on this LIGHT that envelops the earth. I want to be illumined and see the world aglow with this Christmas LIGHT, to be able to truly see the world around me but more importantly to see within my soul. Like the shepherds and wise men we need to run with haste to this LIGHT. Not just when it is convenient but at every second of our existence. We have such urgency for so many passing and material things but not so much for the true LIGHT. It is funny that it is the greatest gift, but so often overlooked. I get so caught up in the "whys" that I miss the "hows". Falling into, falling within the divine LIGHT is our call.

I was moved by the words of Benedict XVI - "All about there was darkness, while in the cave there shone the true light “that enlightens every man” (Jn 1:9). And yet all this took place in simplicity and hiddenness, in the way that God works in all of salvation history. God loves to light little lights, so as then to illuminate vast spaces. Truth, and Love, which are its content, are kindled wherever the light is welcomed; they then radiate in concentric circles, as if by contact, in the hearts and minds of all those who, by opening themselves freely to its splendor, themselves become sources of light." There is our connectedness, our call -- to be concentric circles of light. We find the LIGHT through our sharing of its reflection within ourselves and then unconditionally giving it to others. The CALL is to illumine one another. The message is to quietly glow in and on those we meet. I began to reflect on concentric circles of light in my life during this season.

My concentric circles of LIGHT-

-a new job filled with challenges and opportunities
-messages of holiday cheer from friends
-calls of good wishes
-the call from a friend telling me he was honored to have worked with me
-the reaching out of my ex-wife
-the ability to pray and reflect
-the encouragement of an old but new friend
-the voice of my father
-the joy and excitement of Nick
-that special Santa
-a warm sweater given with love and pride
-that picture for my new office
-the blessings of life
-the Child freely given
-internet notes and wishes
-time with family
-new friends in a new job
-spiritual greeting from friends
-the silence of new fallen snow
-the ability to see beyond myself
-the gift of new LIGHT
-the ability to pray
-the special hugs
-the words - I love you

May you be illumined during this sacred time. May your light bring peace and hope to others. May you have the courage to say "yes" to the ultimate LIGHT of the season.

Openness to HUMILITY

2009-12-23T07:34:00.002-06:00

It is hard to believe that it is already Wednesday and that Christmas is just a few days away. I started a new job on Monday and it is a new chapter in my life. I am excited and filled with anticipation. The job is an excellent career and personal move. It offers me many challenges and opportunities it will be a nice push into a new stage of my life. There is certainly no room for complacency. I am back to my schedule of getting up at 5:20 am. I will admit it has been a little of a push and shocker. After several months off an sleeping in, the I must get up is a totally new reality. My commute is about 40 mins to an hour each way. It is a nice drive and gives me time to listen to music and to reflect.

The past few days have brought me to a new realization of what "blessings" are. They are sacred moments of Divine energy in our lives. These are opportunities that are placed before us and our soul must risk allowing itself to be enveloped in the moment. Blessings are God's hand reaching down to each with the invitation to come walk with me. Blessings are not big moments; rather they are the hello of a new co-worker or someone asking you if you need something. On Monday I received many, many well wished for the start of the new job. I cannot tell you how moved I was. And a text message from one of my sons wishing me good luck. And then when I arrived home similar messages asking how the day was. I was particularly moved by the voice mail of my close friend Olga, asking how the day was and wishing me blessings and happiness. She ignites a spiritual fire within. She is a gift to all that know her and allow themselves to be touched by her wisdom and light. So blessing are those simple things that can pass us by if we are too caught in the activities of the moment. As this Advent season comes to a close I am reminded of the call to PREPARE. The only way a soul can prepare for the coming of the humble DIVINE child is to open itself to the blessings of the moment. Jesus did not come in a huge MGM moment; rather He came in the humbleness of humanity. The fact that HE came in a humble way is an invitation to us to live in humility and simplicity. Our soul cannot be open to the new born LIGHT unless we understand that humility is human nakedness dwelling in the Divine Moment. "Sing God a simple song..."

I hope that the shopping and gift wrapping of the next few days does not keep us from taking the time to waddle in Divine love and protection. Bathe ourselves in HIS grace. For is not this the season of LOVE, ultimate Love?

Blessings as we look for HIS star
May we have the humility to truly see it.
Blessings as we open ourselves
to HIS indwelling in our inner being.

Blessings as we prepare for HIM
May we accept our nakedness?
Blessings as we hear HIS call
Open your ears HE is calling.

Blessings as we understand LOVE
May he fill every crevice of our souls.
Blessings as we accept HIS presence
Free yourself to know HE is there.

Blessings as we walk HIS path
May our steps match HIS.
Blessings as we say YES to His call
Allow ourselves to kneel before HIM.

WINTER SOLSTICE

2009-12-20T23:31:00.004-06:00

For Winter Solstice

A Midwinter Prayer [This would be great for a Catholic rosary - say the first two lines on the Our Father beads and the rest on the decades beads]

From the rising of the midwinter sun to its setting,

Scatter the darkness with the light of your love, O Shining One.

Make me short on mean thoughts, long on offers words of comfort.

Make me short on being driven, long on paying attention.

Make me short on focusing only on my own, long on looking beyond.

Make me short on obsessive lists, long on spontaneous acts of kindness,

Make me short on mindless activity, long on time to reflect.

Make me short on tradition as a habit, long on rediscovery and re-owning.

Make me short on rushing a tiring, long on walking and wondering.

Make me short on false, festive jollity, long on stilling and rooted joy.

Make me short on guilt, long on being merciful to myself.

Make me short on being overwhelmed, long on peaceableness as I set forth this day.

-from The Celtic Wheel of the Year by Tess Ward

The Fire of HIS Love ...

2009-12-16T22:39:00.006-06:00

Benedict XVI explained, true joy consists in "feeling that our individual and community lives are touched by and filled with a great mystery, the mystery of the love of God. In order to be joyful we need ... love and truth, we need a God Who is near, Who warms our hearts and responds to our most profound expectations".

I read this the other day and loved the idea of joy expressed here. I think we all seek joy, but often in physical pleasures. Joy is that feel good feeling we have. Yet, as we come to understand real JOY, we are enlightened to know it is when we are touch and filled by the mystery of God's love. That is such a wonderful concept to be filled by God's love. Just think we become complete, we lack for nothing. The fullness makes us HIS. We do not want and lack -- NO -- HE removes the emptiness and fills every crack within us. We become WHOLE because of His LOVE. This is the season to discover his LOVE. No not just discover but to fall with our total being into HIS TOUCH. Touch is a life-spring for many of us. It tells us we are wanted and needed. Just think that the DIVINE touches us each second, every moment, hold us in HIS protective GRACE.

I know often I feel dark and cold inside as I have written before. My soul as a empty cavern. Yet, here is the answer HE warms our hearts. Think of the fact that God dwells within and sets a fire of grace and love within us. There is no chill, there is no need for heat, the violent, alive fire of GOD warms us from the inside out. How wonderful to be warmed from the inside. Such a change from our usual attitude to put more layers on to be warm. We go wandering for joy, ah but, HE is always near. It is by breaking through our human desire for physical and mental perfection that we find PERFECTION. God in us, God with us, God around us in TOTAL PERFECTION.

I have often felt that God is not listening to me. Does not hear my prayers. Ah how wrong - HE responds to our most profound expectations. He responds in his language. It is so important for our spiritual well being to understand that the language of GOD is not ours. The infinite WISDOM speaks in unconditional LOVE. God's voice is gentle and loving and it can only be heard if we allow ourselves to have inner silence. We can never hear HIS response if we are always chattering. SOmetimes the best and most perfect prayer is mere silence. I am convinced that it is only into total spiritual nakedness that we can hear HIS VOICE.

BE STILL MY SOUL AND KNOW THAT HE IS GOD. ILLUMINATIONE.

Thick clouds cover the people...

2009-12-14T09:17:00.005-06:00

The past few days have been cloudy and dark. This passage by Isaiah has been running through my head - Rise up in splendor! Your light has come, the glory of the Lord shines upon you. See, darkness covers the earth, and thick clouds cover the peoples; But upon you the LORD shines, and over you appears his glory.

Why is it so much easier to focus on the darkness and thick clouds rather than the LIGHT? During this season preparation we are house cleaning our souls to prepare for the LIGHT. Yet, I find I am caught in the cycle of darkness. Aspects of my life have certainly changed for the better and new challenges are on the horizon. Joy and happiness about a new job is ever present. However, when I look deep within there is still a darkness. The cave of my soul is cold and lacks illumination. I am probably pondering more on my state of being rather than doing something about it. Oh, you see I need the perfect cleaning and redecorating plan for my soul. Ah, but that is not the message of Advent. It is one of action, preparedness in action. If I keep planning the season will be gone and the LIGHT will be at the doorstep with no way to enter. The holy men and women of this season did not plan -- they said FIAT to the divine request - Mary, Elizabeth, John the Baptist.

I often find it so hard to just do. I am such a process person that it often gets in the way of action. It is hard for me to just do, but in this case I realize that it is time to act. But how? How do I overcome my history of needing the plan before me, all the questions answered before I move ahead? Spirituality is a total letting go. The marriage with the DIVINE can only happen when the pride of our humanness is but aside. If I were to look to the LIGHT, I would realize the plan is there wrapped in DIVINE WISDOM. I do not need to develop the plan, HE places the plan before me and I need to unfold it. "Over you appears His glory."

This is the task for the week -- tap into HIS glory. Just do - sweep out the darkness within my soul. Not think about it but do it! The broom is GRACE. I need to just grabs it. Not an easy task for me but a very needed one. What I long for, the fire within, is right there. The spiral of life must be broken open. The illumination is within my grasp. Turn off your head Robert, and live from your soul. Bathe in the LIGHT!

Illuminate me oh GOD! Wake up oh soul, your LIGHT has come! Oh, don't hide in your inner cave -- remove the obstacles and let ILLUMINATION happen! This is a wonderful prayer from World Renowned Kabbalist and Kundalini Yogi Joseph Michael Levry.

The Prayer of Light

Love before me
Love behind me
Love at my left
Love at my right
Love above me
Love below me
Love unto me
Love in my surroundings
Love to all
Love to the Universe

Peace before me
Peace behind me
Peace at my left
Peace at my right
Peace above me
Peace below me
Peace unto me
Peace in my
surroundings
Peace to all
Peace to the Universe

Light before me
Light behind me
Light at my left
Light at my right
Light above me
Light below me
Light unto me
Light in my surroundings
Light to all
Light to the Universe

In Love, Peace, and Light,
Rootlight Team

The Simple Virgin of Guadalupe

2009-12-12T22:18:00.003-06:00

Today is the feast of Our Lady Of Guadalupe -- celebrating when the Virgin Mary appeared to the native Juan Diego. In 1531 a "Lady from Heaven" appeared to a humble Native American at Tepeyac, a hill northwest of what is now Mexico City. She identified herself as the ever virgin Holy Mary, Mother of the True God for whom we live, of the Creator of all things, Lord of heaven and the earth. She made a request for a church to be built on the site, and submitted her wish to the local Bishop. When the Bishop hesitated, and requested her for a sign, the Mother of God obeyed without delay or question to the Church's local Bishop, and sent her native messenger to the top of the hill in mid-December to gather an assorment of roses for the Bishop. After complying to the Bishop's request for a sign, She also left for us an image of herself imprinted miraculously on the native's tilma, a poor quality cactus-cloth, which should have deteriorated in 20 years but shows no sign of decay 477 years later and still defies all scientific explanations of its origin.

I have thought about her message all day and my conclusion is that she calls us to humility. She appears to a simple man who is concerned about the health of his uncle, who has a well grounded faith. She is the simple maiden that said YES to God's call. She did not falter in her response -- she freely gave of herself -- tapped into the grace of God. These are two examples of humility. Humility is rooted in faith. Humility is rooted in total trust of GOD. When we are humble we realize we can do nothing on our own we need HIM constantly present in out life. Humility is constantly saying prayers of praise and thanksgiving. When we are humble we turn in our nakedness to God and allow HIM to guide us.

Humility is hard though. It requires that we have total trust. Humility is the virtue that allows us to accept our nothingness. The humble person drinks from the fountain of GRACE. Being humble is hard for me, it is hard to me to let go of control. Yet, when I am humble, when I am like a child again, I feel the warmth of HIS love and protection. Humility allows me not to doubt and question my success -- humility is the move towards total naked surrender. How beautiful it is when we have the humble YES like Mary and Juan Diego. I pray I can move closer to that level of faith and humility. I am in awe how both of these holy people did not question, they did not get caught up in a process analysis. Each of them fell into the arms of the FATHER and found the safeness of the ultimate YES. Juan Diego teaches us the importance of humility and simplify -- he trusted the Virgin -- he extended himself in her behalf. She rewarded him with a gift that is still venerated.

My question tonight is what gift does Mary give me that I am too stubborn to see or accept?

GRACE

2009-12-09T22:09:00.010-06:00

After reflecting on Faith earlier, I tired hard not worry, I tired to let go of my need to control things but I was not always successful. I looked for jobs and applied for some -- the endless cycle continued. My usual worry mode was in full gear as afternoon came. The stress and headache were uncontrollable. Of course I was mad I was worrying so much! I wanted to let go and trust. Wanted to just be! I decided to take a nap but was too restless to sleep -- thousands of ideas rammed into my head. I wondered out to see what Hallmark Christmas movie was on -- nothing caught me so I checked for more jobs. The I received a call from the HR office of the job I really wanted -- asked how I felt about the interviews, asked how I felt about the job and my salary range. I was excited but was my usual Irish cautious so that I did not get hurt and disappointed. She told me she hoped she would have a decision by 4:00. I clutched my phone like a baby holding his pinkie. I called a few people to share the news, still very cautious, asking for prayers.

Then at 4:00 the phone rang -- I can never put into words what I felt as it rang and I answered it. Then the words -- we would like to offer you the position -- here is the salary -- and you will start on Dec 21. What a wonderful gift. I melted back into the chair. I was so excited and slowly realized that God does protect me and has a road map he places before me. I had a new vision! And in that moment I said a prayer of gratitude and praise -- it just flowed from my being. I immediately shared the news with my kids -- their joy and support was unreal. Others were so pleased and supportive -- jubilation. Also, the best wishes of Facebook friends was rewarding. As the time progressed I was relieved and renewed in that I needed to and could fall back into the arms of the Father. My anxiety was a wasted grief and worry, but at the same time it was a realization of trust! As I wander in fear, I need to realize there is a LIGHT that illumines the way. I am truly grateful for all HE does for me and beg for forgiveness for the times I have not trusted. My hand is constantly in His, I need the faith to grasp His and follow. Faith Hope and Love became new, no renewed gifts today.

There is a freshness within each of us, it is called GRACE. It is ever there always offering strength and consolation. Do you feel it? Do you sense it? Do you feel its magnetic FORCE? Oh GRACE how beautiful you are. The SPIRIT dwells in each of us, hovering within our soul. SHE waits for us to trust her motherly protection. The SPIRIT rests within our being, co-dwelling within us. Grasp GRACE it frees you from the bonds of doubt, it opens you to a PEACE within. Oh Soul, you have found your LOVE never let HER leave again. FAITH, HOPE, LOVE.

Acceptance and Faith

2009-12-09T09:35:00.006-06:00

“The keys to patience are acceptance and faith. Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around you. Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen.” ~Ralph Marston

The past few days have been filled with worry and anxiety. I had an interview on Monday and was convinced I had the job but .... still have not heard. Now you can say don't worry but I know they wanted to fill it fast. The evidence is in the negative for me it seems. Yesterday, I was filled with anxiety waiting for a phone call == every time the phone rang I looked at the number only to be disappointed. I worked myself into a frenzy big time. I held the phone like it was my life-line. I panicked if I did not know where it was. And the more I did the more frustrated I became with myself - why worry about what you cannot control -- why worry you do not know. Nevertheless worry and anxiety won out yesterday. And as friends and family called to see if I had news the cycle started again. Lots of energy lost and a roaring headache resulted.

The quote above spoke to me this morning. Acceptance -- so hard for me. I want the control, I want it right, I do not want to wait. I want to know know. I do not see that there is a beauty in accepting things as they are. I cannot realize that there is a hidden gift waiting for me. I worry too much. It is like a bad song I cannot turn off the more I try the louder it gets. To accept is to trust -- to let go and be like a little child. I want to be able to accept things even when I do not control them. But.... acceptance involves giving up control -- it means things might not go the way you want. It means I would have to trust and have faith.

Ah FAITH. Where have you gone? You have become a mental exercise and not a spiritual grace. Faith for me seems to be an intellectual process. It is there but not there. The theological processes get in the way. I believe but do I believe and in what do I believe. I have to say at times I am not fully sure anymore. It is as if faith is out there -- outside of me. I want to have it as the core of who I am but the kite of faith flies higher and further away. As I pull it in I get an uneasy feeling -- the what ifs happen. I can counsel others on faith but mine is not rooted in my being anymore. I cannot separate religion from faith. I believe -- that is not the issue but I want a love affair with the divine -- just not sure how to get there. Feeling dry and worn out inside. My soul is empty. I am tired of the intellectual processes of faith. I want to feel a new essence within myself -- that warmth of a fire. But, it is not a waiting and a magic hurrah that will just happen. I need to make the change -- just not sure how and if I can let go of control. I guess patience is tied in there as well -- oh i am praying now, where is that magic feeling? Can I relax and let the Divine come in? I wonder -- I really wonder.

Ah the key must be faith in myself. How can you invite a guest within when you do not accept your inner home. Self- realization and self-love are so hard. I question everything, I am constantly caught in that cycle of what did I do wrong? Why did I not get the job? Do they really like me? The obvious is believe in myself -- again rationally understood. Now for the spiritual understanding. I used to teach teens about the storehouse of grace we have within and the necessity to tap into it. HMMMMMM ... and I have not I guess. What is the key that unlocks that storehouse? I know stop being so philosophical and just go with the flow -- relax and let go! I try but ...

Oh soul, how empty you have become
how cold and dry.
You are dark and alone
yet you hunger for His warmth.

Oh soul, how did we get to this state
how did you let Him go.
What have you replaced Him with
what now occupies your home?

Oh soul, the pleasures you sought
see how empty and fleeting they are.
Do you realize they dry up and die
they leave you in an instance.

Oh soul, how could you be so foolish
how could you let these things in.
You drove HIm out, He did not want to go
He loved the inner dwellings of you.

Oh soul, it is time to change
it is time to accept yourself.
The time is now to be reborn
the time is now to be reborn.

Oh soul, open the cocoon within
spring into a new life, new Light.
Have faith, have trust, have love
these are the gifts He brings.

Oh soul, move from darkness,
drive out the chill of loneliness.
Oh soul shiver in His warmth,
Oh soul receive the Light.

St. Nicholas Day

2009-12-06T11:58:00.004-06:00

Today is the Feast of St. Nicholas. Growing up it was the day you hung your stocking and when you woke up there was candy, fruit and a small toy. It was never linked with Santa Claus, it was the good Bishop Nicholas that came to reward you on your Advent journey. It was a special celebration, we never put our stocking up for Christmas. Below is a little about St. Nicholas. It would be nice if we were to return to the sense of giving and protection that St. Nicholas stands for and not the commercial rat race that this season has become.

Advent is a time to become like little children again and re-capture the simplicity of a child, no prejudice, no judging, just the gift of loving others for who they are. Unless you become like little children you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven as the scripture says. It is only with the eyes of a child that we will be able to see the true Light of the new born King. May we each open our hearts to the patience of simplicity; may we each fall back into the hug of the Heavenly Father, may we each realize that it is us that complicates our lives, not others. Rub the stress of your living for others from your soul and begin living for and in the Divine. The journey is often long and hard but always remember the consolation you have when you truly trust in the Divine Road Map. The Light is coming, will we be able to see it in all its glory and brilliance?

The Story of St Nicholas

Saint Nicholas was born in 260AD in Patara, a coastal town in what is now Turkey. The poor knew him throughout the land for his generosity, his love for children and being associated with ships, the sea and sailors. He was eventually consecrated Bishop of Myra, just miles from his hometown.

Our western tradition of Santa Claus and Father Christmas originates with the beloved saint. Many Christian churches and many countries observe December 6th, his feast day, with great celebrations, processions, services and gift giving.

Many legends surround his life. During the reign of the Roman emperor Diocletian, Bishop Nicholas was imprisoned and tortured for his beliefs but he never forsook his faith. The new Emperor Constantine eventually released him. Tradition has it that Bishop Nicholas attended the Council of Nicaea in 325 with many other bishops, a meeting that produced what we today call "The Nicene Creed".

Images of St Nicholas in paintings, icons, statues, collectibles and stained glass often show him alongside three young men in a barrel that he brought back to life after an innkeeper murdered them. He is almost always seen with three bags or balls as well, symbolising the three bags of gold he tossed through the chimney of the home of a poor man in his village for the daughters' dowry, so they would not be sold as slaves. Thus he is also seen as the "gift-giver". A ship and the sea are also common symbols of the saint. Western and Eastern depictions of Blessed Nicholas differ in style and costume.

During Advent - A Prayer to St. Nicholas

Good St Nicholas,
Help us prepare for the miracle of the coming of Jesus.
Help us not to be blind to the gifts of getting ready.
Help us be sincere in the greetings we send and receive, with love and prayer.

Kind St. Nicholas, protect us from shoppers' fatigue, stress, overspending, yet help us to be kind and generous of heart to all, especially those who are alone, financial poor and fearful.

May our celebration of your feast lead others to see the true meaning of giving and receiving and to guide all people to

The greatest of all gifts, even Jesus Christ, prince of peace and child of Mary, Our Lord and only savior.

Amen.

JOY

2009-12-03T17:42:00.005-06:00

This afternoon I had a wonderful conversation with an old friend. Every time we talk it is like we have never had time between our conversations. I could talk with her for hours and it would seem like only a second has passed. This friend seems to sense when I need to "talk." She has a remarkable soul which truly speaks to me. It is like a new light is brought into my existence, her words trigger a memory, a new idea, a peaceful state. I am not sure she fully realizes how she challenges me to be more, to become myself. Her wisdom goes way beyond words. She emulates an energy that draws one into her being and there you see the DIVINE light. While she has struggled to gain the STATE of GRACE, she is life giving. I hope she realizes that her struggles bring help and light to others. I appreciate the gift she is and pray that all others that have contact with her will see her radiance with spiritual and not human eyes.

Today she talked about reflecting on - have you ever allowed yourself to know JOY. There was a quiver within me, a shiver. I knew the answer for me was no. I always felt I did not deserve it. As I thought I knew she was not talking about mere physical joy, but a highly metaphysical experience. I is that inner excitement, that FIRE within, that sense that you are loved on the highest level of existence. The joy that your soul mate silently brings as a gift. This passage below helps me understand why I enjoy and treasure her in my life. Thank you my friend for bringing joy to me and for sharing the internal magic of your soul.

"The sharing of joy, whether physical, emotional, psychic, or intellectual, forms a bridge between the sharers which can be the basis for understanding much of what is not shared between them, and lessens the threat of their difference." AUDRE LORDE

Prepare ... there is no excuse

2009-12-01T22:16:00.001-06:00

Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean;
remove the evil of your doings
from before my eyes;
cease to do evil,
learn to do good;
seek justice,
rescue the oppressed,
defend the orphan,
plead for the widow.
Come now, let us argue it out,
says the LORD:
though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be like snow;
though they are red like crimson,
they shall become like wool.
If you are willing and obedient,
you shall eat the good of the land;
Isaiah 1:16-19

Signs God Addresses to us...

2009-12-01T10:57:00.003-06:00

"Advent, this potent liturgical period we are entering, invites us to remain silent as we come to appreciate a presence. It is an invitation to understand that the individual events of the day are signs God addresses to us, signs of the care He has for each of us. How often does God make us aware of some aspect of His love! To maintain what we might call an 'inner diary' of this love would be a beautiful and rewarding task in our lives. Advent invites us and encourages us to contemplate the living Lord. Should not the certainty of His presence help us to see the world with different eyes?" Benedict XVI

This passage made me think about what are the signs God is addressing to me:

-the coolness of a winter's day
-a friend that needs your help
-a job interview
-the ability to see the deeper meaning
-a son that drives a hour to help when your car won't start
-the gentle tug to jump into action
-the ability to tell Him you need Him
-a lunch with your son
-the unexpected hello from a new friend
-the grace to deal with difficulties
-a message from a friend telling you he is praying for you
-the left-overs from you kids on thanksgiving
-the song of your bird
-the chill you feel when you know the divine is near
-the courage to do something you really don't want to
-the light to see beyond your sorry
-a healing when you are hurt because someone does not reach out to you
-the ability to hear - I love you
-the warmth of a fuzzy blanket
-the gift to have and maintain a sensitive side
-the uneasy feeling that you are not doing enough
-the ability to cry
-the strength to walk forward even when you want to stay in bed
-the enjoyment of my pets
-the spiritual nudge that is time to reach deeper within
-the call from someone asking how are you really doing
-the concern of a friend when you say you are just -OK
-the knowledge that things will not happen on their own
-the ability to reflect and seek Him
-the voice calling - come to me
-the need for a hug
-the constant love of the Eternal even when I do not accept it fully
-a movie that makes you remember the simple things
-the ability to pay your rent and bills
-the gift of light to illumine the path of depression
-the courage to take risks
-the gift of people supporting you even though you don't know it
-the longing to know love again

Prepare ye the way ....

2009-11-29T15:19:00.002-06:00

I am amazed that Advent has started -- the season to prepare the way of the Lord....

Prepare your heart
wipe out all the darkness and fear
open to the NEW LIGHT
let it glow within always

Prepare your heart
allow yourself to feel the love of others
do not worry about it, do not judge
just allow yourself to bathe in their Love

Prepare your heart
stop running away from the call
hear the VOICE that calls you
calls you to rebirth

Prepare your heart
do not sit in utter loneliness
move beyond the now to others
the PATH lies before you, RUN

Prepare your heart
open to a newness that is bright
look within and see all you can be
the TIME is within you

Prepare your heart
HE longs to find a home there again
It is the time to let go of yourself
Permit the GUEST to enter

Prepare your heart
Sweep out the darkness of depression
Grasp all the potential within you
Newness is the GIFT

Prepare your heart
Daily turn to the Light
Fell the warmth of love again
Snuggle into the gift of LIFE

Prepare your heart
Cry and wash away your sorrow
Brighten your heart so others might find
A home of PEACE and Love

Prepare your heart
The waiting is over, the excuses don't work
It is the time of PREPAREDNESS
All you need to do is BELIEVE

Prepare your Heart
Prepare your Soul
Prepare for the GIFT
Prepare for the Light

Plenty to be thankful for ....

2009-11-24T00:19:00.003-06:00

Call me a romantic -- call me soupy but I love the movie HOLIDAY INN. Know most of the songs by heart and have to watch it, and WHITE CHRISTMAS, every year during the holidays. This song has been rambling in my head for days ---

- I've Got Plenty To Be Thankful For Lyric

I've got plenty to be thankful for
I haven't got
A great big yacht
To sail from shore to shore
Still I've got plenty to be thankful for

I've got plenty to be thankful for
No private car
No caviar
No carpet on my floor
Still I've got plenty to be thankful for

I've got eyes to see with
Ears to hear with
Arms to hug with
Lips to kiss with
Someone to adore

How could anybody ask for more?
My needs are small
I buy them all
At the five and ten cent store
Oh, I've got plenty to be thankful for

STOP, LOOK AND READ!

2009-11-23T23:56:00.003-06:00

Sometimes I just wonder where my head is. I spent the whole morning getting ready and psyched about I job interview I had this after. I left early in plenty of time, called a friend to pump me up. Put on my suit coat and looked down at the paperwork in my car. Dumb me, i had never looked at the date the email, the recruiter last Thursday said Monday and it was Monday. Ahhh but the interview was for the 30th not today. I got an immediate stress headache that has lasted the better part of the evening. How could I have not looked at the email ...... I WAS SO EXCITED TO GET THE FACE TO FACE INTERVIEW.

LIVE AND LEARN

Thinking about Thanksgiving

2009-11-21T01:25:00.002-06:00

A friend of mine posted about GRATITUDE. This really made me think of all the times I ask for things but forget to thank God and others for the many gifts and favors. I have been so caught up in me of late that I forget all the gifts that go into making me who I am. This prayer helped me focus.

Prayer of Thanksgiving

God of all blessings,
source of all life,
giver of all grace:

We thank you for the gift of life:
for the breath
that sustains life,
for the food of this earth
that nurtures life,
for the love of family and friends
without which there would be no life.

We thank you for the mystery of creation:
for the beauty
that the eye can see,
for the joy
that the ear may hear,
for the unknown
that we cannot behold filling the universe with wonder,
for the expanse of space
that draws us beyond the definitions of our selves.

We thank you for setting us in communities:
for families
who nurture our becoming,
for friends
who love us by choice,
for companions at work,
who share our burdens and daily tasks,
for strangers
who welcome us into their midst,
for people from other lands
who call us to grow in understanding,
for children
who lighten our moments with delight,
for the unborn,
who offer us hope for the future.

We thank you for this day:
for life
and one more day to love,
for opportunity
and one more day to work for justice and peace,
for neighbors
and one more person to love
and by whom be loved,
for your grace
and one more experience of your presence,
for your promise:
to be with us,
to be our God,
and to give salvation.

For these, and all blessings,
we give you thanks, eternal, loving God,
through Jesus Christ we pray. Amen.

- Vienna Cobb Anderson

An Irish throw brings a needed message....

2009-11-19T18:16:00.003-06:00

A very good friend gave me an Irish throw last year for Christmas. I always have it folded over the rocking chair in my bedroom; so I have not read the verse much. I cherish this gift and did not want to over used it or get it dirty. Today when I laid down for a nap, there was a light breeze, so I used it to cover up. While unfolding it the verse was like a lightening bolt -- a wonderful message, I sorely needed. Needless to say the throw will not go back to the rocking chair ....

May you see God's light on the path ahead
When the road you walk is dark.
May you always hear,
Even in your hour of sorrow,
The gentle singing of the lark.
When times are hard may hardness
Never turn your heart to stone,
May you always remember
when the shadows fall—
You do not walk alone.

May He Himself illumine our minds!

2009-11-18T23:29:00.004-06:00

Hindu Daily prayers :

Gayatri Mantra

OM BHUR BHUVAH SUVAHA
TAT SAVITUR VARENYAM
BHARGO DEVASYA DHEEMAHI
DHIYO YO NAH PRACHODAYAT

Translation:

We meditate upon the
glorious splendor of
the Vivifier Divine.
May He Himself illumine our minds!

I needed this prayer earlier today. I allowed disappointment to cloud my insides. I found out I did not get a job I really wanted -- a job I felt was a perfect match -- a job that was a new beginning. "oh, they really wanted you. They thought you were very qualified but decided to go with an internal person." I went into major shut down!! I was so shocked I wandered around in a daze. I was already upset this morning as I had to cash in part of my 401K -- signing the form was so hard. The events caused me to curl up as if non-functional. I could not grasp the good. The events were a slap in the face -- "you have failed."

I so want to trust that God has an eternal plan for me but ... I get so caught up in the hurt, the pain when something does not go the way I had hoped. I need to see that there is something better out there. Why is it so hard for me to trust, so hard to turn to the one person that listens when I am in need. I know the theology, I know the words, yet I cannot fly beyond myself. I try to plan out my divine experiences, I want the picture to be colored my way. Ah, to be like Francis or the Little Flower that found the key in the little things. I need to say more and more -- "May He Himself illumine my mind!" I plan to make this my mantra for the upcoming week. Again my need to accept the power of silence and His Grace.

In the Silence..... to long for, but to fear.

2009-11-18T11:14:00.005-06:00

Last night at 2:00 am when I could not sleep I reflected on SILENCE. It is amazing to me that we all long for silence, for that peace and tranquilly. However, when I have it I seem to get agitated and frustrated. I want to be wrapped in the beauty of silence so that I can calm my inner self and also hear the Voice of the Divine. Yet, I do not seem to have the inner strength to grasp it and be quiet internally. Silence makes me think more about my issues, problems and the chatter in my head get worse. Why can't I just relax like a little child and be wrapped in the silence. I so much would like to be able to just "chill." Last night I could feel the breeze coming in the window, hear a very gentle rain, but as I lay there I could not let go and be washed in the moment. I was up and down and fiddling with stuff. Such a contradiction to want something, receive the gift of it and yet .... I so just wanted to lay there and enjoy the silence to be able to hear a voice other than mine. May I tried too hard, maybe I was planning it out, maybe I was being too philosophical and not spiritually naked enough.

I found my answer this morning in this quote:

“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass- grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls.”
Mother Teresa

I ask for the grace to grasp God's hand the next time the silence arrives. I ask for the faith to let go and be absorbed in His peace. I ask for the hope to find my soul in this divine silence.

You have been a pleaser ...

2009-11-15T01:03:00.004-06:00

“For as long as you can remember, you have been a pleaser, depending on others to give you an identity. You need not look at that only in a negative way. You wanted to give your heart to others, and you did so quickly and easily. But now you are being asked to let go of all these self-made props and trust that God is enough for you. You must stop being a pleaser and reclaim your identity as a free self.” Henri Nouwen

Truer words have never been spoken. When I found this quote I felt like it was God Himself speaking to me. Or maybe shacking me, giving me the kick I need. From the time I was very young I always sought approval --"is it good?" "did I do the right thing?" "is it ok?" Those words have come from deep within me for over 58 years. My survival and self worth have been tied to the responses I got to those questions. Even when in my heart I knew I had done the best, I needed to hear it from someone else. I sought out affirmation -- my knowing it was great did not matter until someone else said it. Some may find this odd since I am often seen as a strength and help to others. They come to me when they are struggling. BUT, this quote made me reflect through my life -- my parents, grade school, seminary years, college, grad school, marriage, work and see the wheel running over and over again seeking to hear the YES that is good. It was a bitter sweet moment, much more of a reality check then i expected. I sit here just wanting to cry, but cannot seem to let go and have that purification. I remembered years when I was married and cooking Thanksgiving dinner -- knowing it was spectacular but it meant nothing to me unless I heard that from my ex-wife. The years of no response weighed on me more than people might realize. In work life I sought the same affirmation and at times when I would hear it I might say to myself -- "oh, they are just being nice and don't want to hurt me." I would long to hear someone say they really liked me. It is really only in the past year that I have been able to reach within for self validation. It has been a long process and I fall back into old ways. Being unemployed has brought me back to my old cycle but reading this quote tonight is the slap in the face I needed. I have been blessed with many gifts and talent -- sometimes I am overwhelmed with the gifts God has given me. I know the only YES I need is the one from Him. If I just open the inner eyes of my being I would see that He has constantly been holding me up with Divine Love. I plan to continue to be and become my true self. I need to grasp the grace within. I need the support and love of friends and family. Most of all I need the goodness that God has placed in me and turn more to Him ... he is the architect of the Divine Plan. Open me, fill me, break open my heart to your love. I admit I am very afraid, to break through old habits is hard. Yet, there is a hand always there to help me, there is a universal energy to give me strength.

On the Feast of Mother Cabrini

2009-11-13T00:54:00.002-06:00

A DISCERNMENT PRAYER by St. Frances Xavier Cabrini

My Jesus,
I have not always recognized
your loving plans for me.

Every day,
with the help of your light,
I learn more of your loving care.

Continue to increase
my awareness of the gentleness of
your loving plans.

I want to follow the purpose
for which I was created.

See, I am in your hands.

I need you to help me choose
the best way to serve you.

Walk with me, Jesus.
Stay by my side and guide me!

Prepare your Temple for the Light

2009-11-11T22:46:00.004-06:00

"By the anxieties and worries of this life Satan tries to dull man's heart and make a dwelling for himself there."-------St. Francis of Assisi

We are to be the temple of the divine. The purpose of life is develop within our souls a place for the divine to dwell. Through our actions and choices we either decorate and illumine our temple, or we darken it and make it uninviting.

Move oh soul more and more towards the illumination of the Eternal. Constantly clean out the dirt and dust of my fears. Prepare each day anew for the Light of Light to move in an dwell. Oh soul welcome the unexpected, invite in the unknown, chase out the worries that prevent peace and the fire of Love within. Evil will be driven out by the Truth that we walk in the Eternal Plan.

Interesting --

2009-11-09T22:39:00.002-06:00

"There's nothing wrong with debating with yourself to come to a firm conclusion about how you feel on a certain issue, but there's a problem with internal talk -- no one can hear you! When you unlock your feelings and thoughts from the vacuum of your mind, you can quickly see what makes the most sense. Any interested bystander could serve as the sounding board you need."

We all need a sounding board ... I certainly could use one in my life regularly. That companion of the journey quest...any takers?

Times of challenge ...

2009-11-08T23:51:00.021-06:00

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
Martin Luther King, Jr.

I have spent the entire day wondering what to do -- wondering if I could -- worrying about what next -- worrying where things will come from. I lost energy and time rather than facing the challenge. Why is it we seem to swim down stream instead of up stream when things are hard. I always waste time always worrying about the "what ifs" ... I could write a novel of "what ifs."

Divine Peace transform me, give me the grace to meet the challenges, to grasp them and control them. Transform my fears. Grace me with trust. Enlighten me with your vision of the ultimate plan. Change my heart to one that lives in endless peace on you can give. Transform me.

Early Sunday Morning

2009-11-08T00:32:00.004-06:00

“It is often forgotten that He who surrounded us with this ever-evolving mystery of creation has also implanted in us the desire to question and understand.... The more deeply we perceive, the more striking becomes the evidence that a uniform plan links every form in manifold nature.” by Paramhansa Yogananda

-- the desire to question should never be sacrificed for mere physical pleasures or laziness. Our purpose here is to understand the Ultimate, all else is but futile. The inner light that comes through questioning and understanding re-news and re-fleshes us: it become a new blood beating within our soul. This is the grace we need and desire -- this is the grace we can gift to others. This is the power that keeps the divine plan made manifest daily.

A COMFORT OF WISDOM

2009-11-06T00:09:00.005-06:00

I needed this message --

“There are always two forces warring against each other within us.”
~Paramahansa Yogananda

A True Friend

2009-11-05T21:12:00.000-06:00

During this past week in particular, I have learned that:

a true friend is there even when you don't ask them to be - a true friend is one who understands your pride when you are broke and can't pay - a true friend sends you messages of encouragement throughout the day - a true friend takes the time to listen to what you say, even as you repeat things over and over - a true friend says they care and shows it - a true friend sends you energy and healing - a true friend does these little things so silently you hardly notice -a true friend helps you sort through dreams and reality - a true friend knows your needs even before you do - a true friend never asks for anything in return.

Cherish the true friends you have, they are more brilliant than gold.

ANXIETIES

2009-11-04T22:03:00.002-06:00

After a day of the blahs and not much energy, I realized that I was giving away power. I was letting the negative take control. I waddled in the powerless. I was swimming down stream and not up.

anxieties sneak into our being,
quickly and silently.
they consume us, they take over
binding us and chaining us up.

anxieties have a sweet voice,
telling us it is "ok"...
"sleep,stay in bed, be lazy."
it is not your fault,
they did it, not you.

anxieties have a growing power,

they take over and cloud your vision.

you no longer see possibilities,

you grow deeper into their motionless power.

anxieties cannot survive the POWER though,

the power of divine energy.

when we grasp the divine,

anxieties become powerless.

divine energy is always there,

we just have to break the chains,

reach out to grasp the hand of love.

To trust, to risk, to love.

Fear locked me in...

2009-11-03T23:02:00.000-06:00

It was odd today -- I had been to see a recruiter, the outcome was not what I expected. I was in the car driving to do an errand, it was beautiful out -- light breeze, just the right temperature, sunny and the fall leaves painted a beautiful picture. I wanted to let go and keep driving, no destination but just keep driving. I longed to give into this unexpected urge to be wrapped in the beauty of the afternoon. However, fear kept me from taking the adventure. It has bothered me that I did not give into the urge, I realize it was the refreshment that my soul needed. Why is it that the unexpected lures us and fear prevents us from taking up the challenge. I think the "pain" of not knowing what would have been if I had just driven is far worse then being the responsible one. The Divine Cosmos called me and I said no... I need the courage to lunge into these moments and not steal away. The call to be free is there... yet we often take the familiar and comfortable, the safe and we end up nowhere.

2009-11-03T08:38:00.000-06:00

The love of a friend is a gift more precious than a diamond. It is the smile that lifts you up to move forward, it is the hug that helps you face fears and it is the energy that links you to the DIVINE. The love of a friend is timeless and goes beyond any time/space bounds. It is a gentle push that you feel even when the person is not physically present. Such a love has re-entered my life and I am most grateful.

Essence

2009-11-02T22:35:00.001-06:00

the essence is to look at yourself in your nakedness … take away the masks and costumes … know who you are, who you can be and who you want to be … reach for the LIGHT …there is the GUIDE … there is the strength you need to be all you can be … don’t regret the past but face the future with joy and energy.

Nov 1

2009-11-01T20:20:00.000-06:00

A close friend suggested I need to get in touch with my inner self and should share my reflections more. So this is the start...